A Spoonful of a Crash Course in Love

If I've learned anything from my brother's rapid engagement, it's that I'm not ready for the commitment myself. The immaturity with which I reacted signals to that point.

You see, what my brother needs and needed is love. It's probably the one thing that he has been lacking the most within all his familial relationships. Our family does a good job at saying they love each other and not showing it. I don't mean there is a lack of hugging or other physical forms of affection, but real love. A lack of judging. A lack of criticism. An abundance of warmth, appreciation, and consideration. All these things mean more than the word 'love'. And I'm not convinced my brother has felt that from me or the rest of my family.

I justified my resistance by saying I still loved him, but I just didn't accept his decision. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with that. And I still don't know if there is, but I do know there's something wrong with that if that's what you say and then you withdraw your love from that person.

I'm getting better everyday. I've been trying to show my brother how much I love him everyday while trying to accept his decision too. I'm also learning how to accept the fact that despite everything I've learned through experiences, I'm still pretty rough. Okay, maybe really rough. :)