A Spoonful of Amy's Valentine's Day Card Co.

A bit too wordy, isn't it? I'm not too attached to it, so I will take suggestions. Maybe you're wondering, suggestions for what? and why?

I have decided to start up a Valentine's Day Card company. Today.

I didn't realize I had so much talent, but then the activity for FHE was card-making and putting my creativity to the work, this is what I produced:

             Inscription: Like the chocolate that once filled these colored wrappers, 

my love for you is rich...but my love will last longer.

A masterpiece, no? So I've decided the best outlet for my creative juices is through Valentine's Day cards. I will be taking orders up until the Friday before Valentine's day and will deliver them on Saturday. I'm charging $0.50 for a half-sized card and $1.00 for a whole-sized card like the one pictured above.

Make your valentine feel special with a unique, hand-made card from Amy's Valentine's Day Card Co.!

A Spoonful of Why I'm NOT Taylor Swift

There are several physical aspects that differentiate me and Taylor Swift: the hair, the guitar skills, and the super stardom come to mind. That's not quite what I had in mind though.

I'm not like T-Swift because I like confidentiality. I kind of respect that she has no qualms naming every guy that her songs are about, but that's not me. Plus, most of the guys I know/date aren't terrible enough to deserve bitter posting about them, if one can deserve such a thing (I have actually written a bitter-ish song about a guy, but I don't know if it shall ever grace the halls of this blog.)

I'm starting guitar lessons on Thursday with this guy in my ward that needs money. I like helping people, especially if I get something out of it too. Soon enough I might rival T-Swift's guitar skills. Watch out.

So from now on, I'm using pseudonyms for everybody. Well everybody I deem needs one. Which is perfect because I have a story to relate to explain why maybe I'm a bit too much like Taylor Swift sometimes.

There's this guy in my ward, let's call him Jonathan, who I like. Ella-another girl in the ward--also likes him. Despite knowing this, I went up to him at FHE and began flirting with him in front of her. Catty, huh? The thing is, I'm not even interested in fighting over him, at least I thought I wasn't, but then I went and did that. Gee whiz. Moral of the story is, I can compete now, I guess.

A Spoonful of Never Growing Up

Lest you think I'm changing my mind on the decision to be more mature about my brother's marriage, let me clarify that this is completely unrelated and as a result of having gone to see Peter Pan last night.

Yeah! I went to Peter Pan. I bought the tickets for it on Tuesday and then was kind of kicking myself for it because the tickets were expensive and I had no idea who I wanted to go with. When I was thinking about who I could invite I kept thinking of the same guy--Sullivan for the purposes of this blog. You see, I like spending time with Sullivan and he gives every impression that he enjoys it too, but then if I want to see him or hang out with him again I have to be the one to call. He's not worth that much effort on my part. Anyways, I went with my friend Chris(name unchanged because I'll never have any reason to write bad things about this kid.) I had a great time.

Peter Pan is a great play. Melancholy, but great. It teaches the values of growing up and never growing up. On one hand, there's so much happiness to be found in the responsibilities of growing up. On the other hand, life would be too hard if we acted like adults all the time. My hope is that even as an old woman I will still be young at heart. Open to adventures and silliness. But not at the expense of responsibility. I think you can have both, and that's my goal.

A Spoonful of Gladiators

How can I not say something about that game last night? How can I not say anything about Jimmer Fredette who plays basketball so beautifully? How can I not give respect and credit where it's due?

We won. The biggest game of our regular season and we won. I couldn't stop smiling last night. I was so anxious, especially during that first half when it was neck and neck. And then that second half when it was so close until that last five minutes. Man, oh man.

I also wanted to give some kind of commentary to why sports are so big. I've been on both sides. The player and the fan. The gladiator and the crowd. I've never tried to put words to why fans get so worked up about their favorite teams or players and I don't know if there are any, but I'll try.

I think a bit of it is the ability to live vicariously through the athlete. To say that's all it is, is not fair. I think it could be traced back to the time before ours when you had to fight for all you're worth to defend your land, your property, and your people. Sports are wars just not as many people die and there aren't really as many things on the line. I don't know. That still doesn't satisfy my wonderings. Any ideas are welcome. I love sports, but at the end of the day, they're not that important, you know? Don't shoot me.

Oh, and my grandparents were kind enough to save me the newspapers that together make a life-size poster of Jimmer for my wall. I can't decide whether or not to put it up.

A Spoonful of Tiring Questions

You know what? I dislike answering the question: "How's life?" and all of its variants.

It's going.

And it's not stopping for me to think of all the things I could possibly say to answer your question. This is not aimed at everybody who asks this, but it is aimed at everybody who is okay with asking that question and not expecting a 5-minute response. I don't think it's wholly that I don't like people who make meaningless small talk.

"Hey!! How are you?!?"

"Great! And yourself?"

"Oh, I'm doing great!"

(they continue on their paths)

That's fine. I do that all the time. Yeah, it's kind of stupid, but it's kind of cultural and it's better to be acknowledged by people you know than completely ignored. I do think that faking interest in another person's life is lame. And I hate when I realize it, because I've already shared 2 or 3 sentences of great, exciting things...and they were only half listening.

People just don't know what they're getting themselves into when they ask me how's life. I can't describe it in a two-word sentence. It's all kinds of wonderful and then all kinds of craziness all in the same breath. And it's only January 25th. I haven't even been 20 for a whole month and I'm already feeling the weight of it. So much for gradual introductions.

P.S.: I am going to see Peter Pan. Most likely with someone. More on this later.

A Spoonful of Erm...What's your name again?

FYI: Having to ask for a someone's name more than twice does not promise the closest or smoothest relationship with that person. You probably already know this through experience, as I do.

Sometimes I like to pretend I can be like President Monson in the way he can remember every person he's ever met. Then I completely forget somebody's name that I've known for several months and I realize that I'm just not that good. I'm better than most, and I do make an effort, but I'm still not on par.

I once read that the way to remembering someone's name is to make them important to you. I totally believe it. Which means I need to care about certain people more. Usually if I find someone the slightest bit interesting, it's easy enough to remember his/her name. So why can't I remember this person's name? No clue. Maybe it's some kind of mental block I have, and if that's the case...I hate you subconscious.

I have two dates this week. This is becoming a semi-frequent occurrence. I credit it to being 20. Being 20 makes all the difference. More on this later. This week is crazy busy and I'm not going to be able to go see Peter Pan like I want to. Unless Friday night? Any takers?

A Spoonful of Girls Night

Oh yeah, so last night was girl's night with my old roommates and it was awesome! Honestly, I don't know if I can love Brooke, Claire, and Camille more than I do already. They are some of the greatest people on this planet. I also got to meet Claire's super awesome older brother Christian, who recently returned from South Korea. I know quite a few guys that served their missions there and all of them are neat, neat people. Including Norm Nemrow.

We ate food, watched movies, and had girl talk. I don't know why, but girl talk is kind of essential for your emotional health as a female. I saw Bride Wars for the first time and it's really funny. I may not come across as the most feminine creature, but I am looking forward to planning my wedding. I already have a lot of ideas of what I'd like it to be like, but actually putting on the whole thing will be a stressful, of course, but also a really fun and exciting challenge.

I found out what dress we're wearing as bridesmaids and I'm kind of in love. It's going to be a light pink with a green belt. Easter-ish, but I'm thinking the belt won't be attached and so the dress will totally be transferable meaning I get an adorable dress out of this. I'm completely okay with that.

A Spoonful of OMGOSH

I JUST BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET TO AND FROM PARIS, FRANCE!!!!!

I'm leaving from NYC on April 28th, to arrive April 29th in PARIS. Then I'm leaving on July 28th and arriving in NYC that same day. Both international flights will feed me (yay!) and they both have personal tvs. And it's done. Holy wow. It just gets more real every day.

:D

But now I'm thinking I should write that French assignment. :)

Good night world!

A Spoonful of Growing Up

Remember when you were young and you got growing pains in your shins? The aching and stretching that goes with gaining that extra inch? I'd think I'd prefer that to the growing pains that come with going from childhood to adulthood. A bit of physical discomfort would be much preferable to this emotional pain and stretching. And I can't whine like a little kid anymore. I can still make a pouty face...but that's not attractive.

In other news, I'm working on finding flights to and from Paris and it's stressful. Trying to plan it out in the least expensive way is really the problem. Plus I'm leaving from NY and trying to back to SLC so that's an added challenge. It's kind of distracting me from school and work so I just need to get it out of the way.

I'm glad to announce that I have my plane ticket for February 19th in the morning so I can go to Springhaven AND my brother's wedding. All thanks to my lovely mother. And Kimberly asked me to a be a bridesmaid. Even though it's going to be a hectic weekend, I'm glad I can be there for such an important day in my brother's life.

A Spoonful of Oh La La

Shabby Apple, you've heard of it? They have cute, fashionable, modest dresses and I am hooked. Anyways, their Paris section is particularly drawing to me because I'm going there this summer, and while going through it, I ran across this dress called l'Artiste and I fell in love. I love stripes, navy blue, and three quarters-length sleeves, so naturally it stuck out to me, but I think it totally has a European feel. I could definitely see myself walking down the Champs-Elysees in it. I have a lot of favorites there, particularly in their new Jazz line, but this one wins favorite of the favorites.

A Spoonful of New Tricks

holy freaking cow divine comedy is the bomb we are so cool i cant even bother to use punctuation or proper capitalization we are going to have the best february show and the best song parodies and everybodys mind is going to explode.

Wow. Just got back from a day of shooting for Divine Comedy. And let me tell you, that last shoot at the testing center was unreal. You may be seeing me busting some killer dance moves and/or in the background as some real dancers kill the floor. It was a blast and it just makes me more excited for our next big shoot (Teaser trailer: JFSB Courtyard...200+ sparklers...you can never have enough of the boy who lived.) :)

Side note: I wish I understood people better. And I wish I understood why some people I know are all very surface value, right-here-right-now kind of people. These people perplex me and every time I try to assume something about them, I'm always proven wrong. :/ I wish I had Donnie Pfiefer's skill at reading people. Or Cal Lightman's.



And don't worry, you're still a gemini

A Spoonful of a Crash Course in Love

If I've learned anything from my brother's rapid engagement, it's that I'm not ready for the commitment myself. The immaturity with which I reacted signals to that point.

You see, what my brother needs and needed is love. It's probably the one thing that he has been lacking the most within all his familial relationships. Our family does a good job at saying they love each other and not showing it. I don't mean there is a lack of hugging or other physical forms of affection, but real love. A lack of judging. A lack of criticism. An abundance of warmth, appreciation, and consideration. All these things mean more than the word 'love'. And I'm not convinced my brother has felt that from me or the rest of my family.

I justified my resistance by saying I still loved him, but I just didn't accept his decision. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with that. And I still don't know if there is, but I do know there's something wrong with that if that's what you say and then you withdraw your love from that person.

I'm getting better everyday. I've been trying to show my brother how much I love him everyday while trying to accept his decision too. I'm also learning how to accept the fact that despite everything I've learned through experiences, I'm still pretty rough. Okay, maybe really rough. :)

A Spoonful of Consignment

My brother is getting married. And there's nothing I can do about it. I want him to be happy, I really do. I mean, heck, he's my older brother. I love him with all my heart. I want him to have to experience the least amount of pain or disappointment possible. That's why I'm having a hard time accepting it.

Heh. A really hard time. I've really got nothing against her. She seems nice enough. I just have a hard time believing this "personal revelation" card he's playing because of the situations surrounding it. And personally, knowing my brother, I don't think he's anywhere close to ready to be married. I think that was pretty evident in his Fall semester relationships.

The fact of the matter is, it's not my choice. It was never my choice with my parents getting divorced, my sister eloping, or my dad choosing bitterness instead of peace. It's just hard, you know? Seeing people you love make decisions that bring them pain, especially when they can be avoided. It really hurts your heart.

Maybe my premonitions about this are wrong, but I haven't really been wrong yet.

I am not an ill-willed person. I promise.

A Spoonful of Wishful Thinking

I love this song. Not necessarily because I can relate but because I wish I could relate. The storyline is that of the female singer observing the guy she wishes she could be with. You see, they were friends, but then they kissed and it ruined everything between them but she doesn't know why.

Okay. Maybe I don't wish I could relate. What I do wish is that I could date my best friend and have it work out. For that to happen I would have to have 1) a male best friend, 2) I would have to be interested in him, and 3) he'd have to be interested in me. Bleh.

I'm missing 2 of those 3.

Do you understand why my favorite Jane Austen novel is Emma?

A Spoonful of "C'est comme ça"

I know I've only been to one day of each of my French classes, but I already like them. For one, they're all different, one is focusing on grammar and writing, while one is reading French literature and analyzing it, and then the last one is about the modern French person. I think they won't overlap too much to get old, but will enough to be of benefit to me.

There's something about French professors too. I haven't had a one that I don't like, and this semester is looking to be the same. I think it has to do with the sense of humor they have. You see, they take their job very seriously, while at the same time admitting the French are bizarre. For most questions you have about the French language or culture they can give you an explanation, but frequently they just say, "C'est comme ça," which translates to: "It's just like that."

I think that's a good motto for life. Sometimes there's really no explanation for why life is so great or so sucky. Sometimes you just have to admit you don't have the answers. Sometimes you just have to say, "C'est comme ça," and move on with your life. :)

A Spoonful of Greatness

What makes a person great? I've been pondering this for the last couple days as I've been increasingly aware of how much of a slacker I am. When it comes to schooling, I've never been the best student, even though I would say that I have a pretty good brain, and can be a hard worker. I just am not a great student and sometimes it bugs me. Okay, it really just bugs me when I see one of my older siblings do the same thing better, and make it look like it's not hard.

I'm just going to put this out there, but I think it is hard to be going to school full-time, working part-time, volunteering part-time, and having a social life. The sad thing, is I know people for whom this isn't hard. Or, if it is, don't admit it and act like it's a piece of triple chocolate fudge cake.

When I think of the potential I have, I'm overwhelmed with thanksgiving and a little bit of regret. Why have I not been able to take advantage of my potential? And why was so much potential given to me, of all people? Sometimes I think I would have preferred to have been born with less smarts, that way I'd have less responsibility, but then I think of what I've been able to experience, those moments of pure inspiration or real intellectual stretching and I don't want that at all. I want to know everything, I just don't have the habits to get me there. Bleh. Habits. Habits determine the person, and sadly, they make me only 50% of what I could be.

This can change. I want it to. And heck, it's a new year, right? I want to have self-control like my brother's, just not quite as extreme I guess. If that's even possible. If it is, then I'm going to obtain it, I just have to think of it as a competition. A competition against the world. This is my new years' resolution.