A Spoonful of Falling in Love

Maybe some of you, my readers, might be incredulous to discover that I, while walking the streets of Paris, on the bank of the Seine, in the midst of buildings such as Notre Dame and the Louvre, could ever say that I missed Provo and couldn't wait to return. Yet, it's true. Despite the fantastic people I've met and the awesome experiences I've had, I have found myself yearning for the mountains, for the friendly faces of BYU coeds, and for the liberty to drive faster than 40 mph. I could see the value and beauty of Paris, but I wasn't convinced that it was everything it should be. 

Then yesterday happened.

I can now admit that I am in love. With Paris. I love that her litter-lined streets and pee-drenched stairwells are just a mask for some of the most beautiful views you'll ever have in your life. I love that an over-crowded steel monument that only sparkles 2 minutes every hour can make you so excited about life. And I love that you honestly can never get tired of eating a nutella banana crepe. It took a while to get to this point, but I can now say that Paris is really worth the trip. And I think I understand a little better why so many people are in love with this city. 

I'm still not sure I could live here long term, me and Paris still have our differences to work out, but I'm saying it's more of a possibility than before.

A Spoonful of the Unavoidable Valentine's Day Post

I'm writing this post because I have to. It's obligatory. Either you have to write a post about how great your Valentine's Day was, or you have to write about how much it sucked. I am here to tell you that I felt ambivalent. It wasn't too special, but not all that bad. My friends brought me an awesome cupcake brimming to the top with love. That was great. And I got a valentine card from Natacia Snow who is one of the most thoughtful people you will ever meet. I've decided to give love on a day other than Valentine's Day so people will know that I remember to show love to them all the time, not just on the pre-prescribed day.

In other news, I need to get a haircut. I'm taking suggestions for what to do with it and also who I should get to cut it. I figured it would be a good thing to do for my brother's wedding on Saturday. Thanks for being great friends and readers, readers! I love you.

A Spoonful of a Crash Course in Love

If I've learned anything from my brother's rapid engagement, it's that I'm not ready for the commitment myself. The immaturity with which I reacted signals to that point.

You see, what my brother needs and needed is love. It's probably the one thing that he has been lacking the most within all his familial relationships. Our family does a good job at saying they love each other and not showing it. I don't mean there is a lack of hugging or other physical forms of affection, but real love. A lack of judging. A lack of criticism. An abundance of warmth, appreciation, and consideration. All these things mean more than the word 'love'. And I'm not convinced my brother has felt that from me or the rest of my family.

I justified my resistance by saying I still loved him, but I just didn't accept his decision. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with that. And I still don't know if there is, but I do know there's something wrong with that if that's what you say and then you withdraw your love from that person.

I'm getting better everyday. I've been trying to show my brother how much I love him everyday while trying to accept his decision too. I'm also learning how to accept the fact that despite everything I've learned through experiences, I'm still pretty rough. Okay, maybe really rough. :)