A Spoonful of Not Being a Victim

Sooner or later you have to face a rough patch--a trial or a consequence--that you had absolutely no way to prevent or that you in no way caused. My parents got a divorce. My friend Katie got hit by a driver on drugs. Hundreds of thousands of people in Japan had their lives turned upside down by the earthquake and tsunami that hit just two weeks ago. These things happen and you can't do anything to stop them.

Kind of a sad realization, isn't it? Yes and no. I think it is sad, and we must mourn our losses, but we have reason to hope. Things look up, but only if it starts with our attitude. That's why being a victim isn't an option. Yes, legally and technically we can be made victims, but our actions and our attitude can make us more than that. That's what I'm aiming for. Being a victim means you're helpless, there to be acted upon.

That being said, my internship program was cancelled. The Paris Chamber of Commerce wasn't able to place me anywhere. There are a lot of problems with that, having already bought my airfare and having already planned on not working spring, having told everyone that Paris is my destination this summer. So many problems, so many things to be upset with. I wanted to despair, I wanted to cry about it, but I didn't let myself because I knew that the best thing I could do was be hopeful. And you know what? The next day I found out that I could probably get an internship with a different group. A service internship, but an internship nonetheless, and in Paris. It's not finalized yet, but I'm hopeful. I think it will happen for me. And I basically have a place to stay. Which is better than almost anything. Good things happen when you're hopeful, when you refuse to be a victim.

A Spoonful of A Month Left

I have a little more than a month before I leave for New York and then Paris. Cue the sweaty palms and the deep-breathing. I'm sort of freaking out. Where am I going to stay? What am I going to do be doing? What if they can't find an internship for me? Question, question, question, question. *Sigh*. I'm freaking out just a little bit.

The crazy thing is the internship prep class hasn't really helped the anxiety. I found out on Thursday that some of the people in the same program as me have already heard about where they're going to be interning. This doesn't exactly bode well for me.I can't help but thinking that nobody wants me as an intern. Guh. I just have to wait until the 21st. That's the deadline. That's the day of salvation or of death. Sorry for the drama.

On the other hand, school, divine comedy, and tristan & yseult are going wonderfully. I by that I mean they are wreaking havoc on my life as usual. I did manage a 90% on my last midterm which is great considering I studied for it during the BYU vs. UNM game...yeah. I'm going to give the credit for my good grade to Jimmer, because him owning UNM gave me the adrenaline I needed to perform better. Adrenaline helps! Trust me. (But don't wait until the last minute to take a test...or to study for that test. Just don't do it.)

I need help, serious help to get through these next couple weeks standing. Have hope, old heart.

A SpoonFULL of Excitement, Anxiety, and PARIS.

I got this email in my inbox today, from the French Internship Facilitator(aka my new favorite person):

"Congratulations! Pending approval by the Honor Code Office, you will be accepted for the Paris Chamber of Commerce internship for Spring 2011. If any of you have not submitted your CV and questionnaire to M. LeBras, please do so immediately. If he has asked you to make any corrections on either of those forms, please likewise do so immediately. So, enough negative sentences: Congratulations on being accepted!"

I'm going to Paris this freaking summer! As an intern. Wow. It's hard to believe that it's actually going to happen. :0

Despite how completely excited I am, I am a bit anxious about it. There's so much to do in preparation: find my passport, book a plane flight, improve my French, and much more. I want to be a solid intern. I know I have a pretty good understanding of French grammar, but I definitely could use some help on my spoken (and written) French. I know that just as Heavenly Father has helped me thus far, he will continue to help me in my endeavors as i have faith. I completely believe this.



Guys, this is gonna be good. :D