I'm sure you're all anxious to figure out what this bisous business is about. Some of you already know. It's the two kisses French people give each other in greeting and parting and for somebody with very high personal bubble senstivity, it wasn't the easiest thing to get used to. Here are some things I've learned about bisous in the last 2 months.
For one, if you're young (under 30 yrs) you'll probably get bisous in greeting and parting from every other younger French person. Mostly applicable for girls. Guys with give other guys bisous sometimes, but more frequently just handshakes or man-hugs like what you see all the time in the states (this was especially the case for the JA).
Secondly, if possible, find an anchor. It could be their shoulder, or just a good non-moving part of their arm. Maybe your bisous is a half-hug as well and you can plant your hand on their back. Wherever you choose, it should help with my next point: cheek-bumping. It happens. Don't stress. If you have an anchor, you should be able to judge speeds and distance better and it won't happen as often, but even if it does happen, there's no need to be embarrassed. Unless you're physically maiming them...
Lastly, you don't actually kiss them. Unless you're a) older, or b) digging them (Note: Letter 'b' was a point told me by some JA and I won't be sharing any personal information either verifying or denying this assertion). The way the French behave in social situations is one of the key differences between them and us. I noticed a lot of the French my age were more touchy-feely (you didn't necessarily have to be dating to hold hands or walk arm-in-arm) but they will rarely ever give you a real kiss on the cheek. The bisous have evolved and it will be interesting to see how their culture continues to change related to this certain custom.
If I had the choice, I would still be giving bisous because I think it gets rid of a lot of awkward tension that can occur when first meeting someone, but it does make you particularly vulnerable (People can get real kisses through it and there's even a name for it "baiser volé", literally "stolen kiss"). Maybe I can institute it with my small circle of friends??? It's totally cool, I promise!
Hahaha, I like your kissing guide! They do this in Argentina too––I remember when I was new in the mission some girl just came up and kissed my cheek when I wasn't expecting it. As missionaries we were supposed to do handshakes, but a lot of people (especially girls and women) would rather kiss, so we usually ended up doing both at the same time.
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